We plan for just about everything throughout our lives—education and career decisions, major purchases, where we want to live, when we’d like to retire, etc. However, it would seem that a parent and child talking about future plans is a rarer occurrence than we’d like to think.
Although many people have heard of advance directives and living wills, I’ve found that often people aren’t quite sure what we doctors are talking about when we mention “advance care planning.”
It’s often hard for parents to ask for help or even admit they need it. Focus on paying attention to the aging parent, most needs can simply be observed. Does the parent struggle in certain tasks? Is there something you can do to help the aging parent without them asking? Can asking indirect questions lead to an answer? Even asking directly “Mom, was there something you needed help with?”
Our hospice nurse was the most caring and compassionate person that ever worked with mom. She really kept us informed and we knew that she really cared about how comfortable mom needed to be. The entire team knew exactly what to do and helped prepare me along the way.
